How to Choose Your Groomsmen?

The groom standing on the altar, waiting for his bride, is one of the centrepieces of any wedding, but the celebration would only be complete with the presence of family and closest friends. One of the most crucial and unforgettable actions a groom will do is select his groomsmen or groomsman. Here’s our take on how to choose your groomsmen.

What can I expect from my groomsmen?

You may believe these men are only there to hang out with you. Yes, for some reason, but they also have sincere and critical duties. These individuals are fated to assist you with all elements of wedding planning. They will eventually serve as your most important support system, whether planning and sponsoring an incredible bachelor party, ushering guests on your wedding day, dancing with bridesmaids and single women at your celebration, or competing for the traditional garter toss.

How to Choose Your Groomsmen

Choosing groomsmen wisely

When it comes to wedding planning, no man can dodge this responsibility. This group of people frequently represents the groom’s most significant friends, those he is closest to, and those who have shaped him into the person he is now.

Selecting or requesting someone to be a groomsman may be more challenging for the groom than imagined, although it may be straightforward for others.

You may have several amazing people in your life, and selecting only a handful for the wedding party groomsmen can leave someone feeling left out or unsure about who is best suited to the task.

When selecting your groomsmen, you can take a few measures to put together the most capable group possible without feeling like you’re ranking them against each other. Consider the following groomsmen selection ideas to ensure you have a suitable wedding party.

Who Should You Have as Groomsmen?

Making the final selections from a list of groomsmen is one of the most difficult tasks

any groom will undertake. Asking for groomsmen may be a difficult procedure. Creating a list can feel like being forced to rank with your friends. This may be fine for individuals with a close circle of friends, but it might be challenging for those with many wonderful friends.

It may be even more difficult to produce a list that does not offend anyone or make them feel they made a mistake in their friendship. There is no specific way to select your groomsmen without risking hurting someone’s feelings; nevertheless, you can follow a few guidelines to reduce the danger.

Family first

If you have a sibling or several siblings, selecting them is an easy process. Put all family members first, then friends. Many siblings and relatives in a groomsman party may minimise the need for friends.

Mutual friends

When choosing friends, consider those closest to you and your potential spouse as a couple. The finest groomsmen are friends who have been there for you throughout your dating and engagement and who you intend to keep in touch with when you are married.

Current friends 

Check if any former friends are still friends. Many grooms believe their high school friends are the ideal fit for their crew, but people change. It is essential to ensure that you are still as close as you were previously, and if not, choose someone more involved in your current life, even if they do not have as much history with you.

Responsible friends

Choose friends who will be reliable assistants at the wedding. Remember that the bridal party will help you plan the wedding and will participate in the ceremony and celebration. Choose friends who will manage the task responsibly and potentially exclude anyone who will make an improper toast or need help planning.

Consider reliability and personality.

Even if you don’t want your bridesmaids or groomsmen to play a significant role in wedding planning, knowing you can rely on them when needed is comforting. Given the tight constraints on the wedding day and the deadlines for bridesmaid dress orders, your buddy, who is notoriously poor at answering calls and honouring promises, may be a better choice. Instead, choose friends that you know will respond to your emails, arrive on time, and be better prepared than you.
For example, if you have two friends who are equally important to you, but John is known for failing to follow through on crucial promises, and Dan is concerned about details, Dan may be the better choice. Sure, John may be furious, but if you’ve gotten this far, there must be something to break the tie—reliability is usually good.
In addition, look at personalities and how they interact inside the group.
Before you ask your brother or friends, consider how well your wedding party will get along. Everyone on your list does not need to get along, but if one person has a more dominant or unpleasant personality, you should avoid unnecessary disputes.

The group dynamic matters

Choose your best men from those now playing important roles in your life.
Avoid discovering the night before your wedding that you and your best high school friend have little in common.
You already have enough to think about during the planning process.
A close circle of friends and family may give you a sense of security and confidence before, during, and after your wedding.

How to Choose Your Groomsmen

The Wedding Party Is Not the Sole Role at the Wedding

Some people have a large social circle, and many of their friends want to make significant financial donations to the wedding.
The role of the wedding party is only sometimes fundamental, or even the most important position at a wedding.
Speeches are essential, and your friends can be trained to deliver them; therefore, you will need a presenter. Readings may be included in the ceremony, and you will require ushers, ring bearers, emcees, helpers, and possibly entertainment if you have musically gifted friends and relatives.
Whether you intend to have a huge wedding party or none, you must fill these key positions.

Be mindful of the budget

We all know how expensive it is to be a bridesmaid or groomsman. Even if you pay for their hotel or contribute to their suit or dress, the expense of flights, gifts, and bachelor and bachelorette parties may quickly add up.
If you know your acquaintance is hurting financially, call them before making the formal request.
Let them know that, while you’d love to have them at the wedding party, you also have a few choices for them to participate if that’s too expensive.
Close friends can deliver programs or serve as ushers at the ceremony, and they also make great readers and toasters at the rehearsal dinner.

Who Should You Have as Groomsmen?

Of course. Absolutely. No regulation states that your sister cannot accompany you to your wedding.
While she may only participate in some of your groomsmen’s activities, and she may prefer a bridesmaid dress to a suit, be afraid to go outside the norm; if you want your sister to stand with you on your wedding day, do you ask your selected groomsmen?
You’ve chosen your groomsmen; now it’s time to ask them. Here are some ideas to help inspire you when inviting your groomsmen to participate in your special day.

Ask them personally

Some of you may prefer to ask your groomsmen directly and simply, which is perfectly acceptable.
We’re seeing more and more intricate ways to ask your chosen groomsmen, but if you don’t believe they’ll appreciate the gesture and it’s not your style, there’s no shame in simply asking without all the fuss.
There is only one rule: no emails or text messages; instead, ask in person. When personal interactions are impossible due to distance, a phone conversation is the next best choice.

Give a present

Customisation is The key thing to consider when choosing a present to ask your groomsmen. If you go out of your way to acquire a gift, personalising it with a name or a phrase like “Will you be my groomsman?” makes it more meaningful.

How do I thank my groomsmen after the wedding?

Finally, you’ll want to thank the groomsmen for standing beside you now that the wedding is over. You can do this creatively. However, as usual, politeness and some thanks are strongly encouraged.

Backup! Backup!

Choosing groomsmen involves choosing a small group of trustworthy male friends to stand by alongside you on the day of your marriage. Nobody can deny the importance of the groomsmen at your wedding. Choosing the appropriate men to stand by the groom is important.
You will choose the ones you care about the most. People you can rely on to make your time valuable and who can provide social support.
However, unexpected problems sometimes occur, so plan for a backup in every plan you make to reduce frustration.

In a Nutshell

Some grooms find it unexpectedly challenging to choose the perfect groomsmen for their wedding. Your team could include closest friends, relatives, brothers, cousins, and even long-lost elementary school friends. Carefully consider who should join your dream wedding day team.

Remember, these gentlemen will help make your wedding day memorable for you and the bride. Choosing wisely ensures your groomsmen will be respectful, take their duties seriously, and contribute positively to the event. If the bride has brothers, include them regardless of your closeness—they are joining the family, so start getting to know them better now.

Trust your instincts. Selecting groomsmen can be straightforward if you choose your closest friends, who will support you through thick and thin, making your wedding day special. Considerations for choosing groomsmen are just guidelines. It’s a personal decision for you and your fiancé. If you’re close to your sister, she can be a groom’s lady. Similarly, if your fiancé’s best friend is a guy, he can be a groomsman.

Whatever you choose, doing it with thought and care ensures an amazing crew by your side on the big day. Your wedding day is a milestone event, an exceptional celebration where every detail is essential. The choice of those who accompany you on this journey should be carefully considered, as they will share in the joy of your union. Whether family or friends, choosing your wedding party represents cherished relationships.

Here’s to gathering a wonderful wedding party full of people who provide humor, support, and love on your special day. May their presence brighten the celebration and create lifelong memories. As you exchange vows and begin this new chapter, may your marriage be filled with happiness, understanding, and unwavering devotion.


Choosing groomsmen is crucial for any wedding, involving selecting the best group to help plan the event. Groomsmen support the groom, handle important tasks, and provide companionship. When choosing groomsmen, consider your budget and the costs of the bachelorette party, tickets, and gifts. Inform your friends they can still participate even if costs are prohibitive. Close friends can read programs, act as ushers, and offer toasts at the rehearsal dinner.

Having a backup group of reliable friends ensures your wedding day stands out. Include close family and friends, such as brothers, cousins, and old school friends. Trust your instincts and choose friends who will be there for you in good times and bad. Selecting the right groomsmen is a personal decision reflecting valued relationships. Bring a supportive and fun group to your wedding, enhancing the celebration and creating lasting memories. May your marriage be filled with happiness, understanding, and unwavering love.



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Content Summary

How to Choose Your Groomsmen?
  • The groom’s selection of groomsmen is a crucial part of wedding planning.
  • Groomsmen represent the groom’s closest friends who have played a significant role in his life.
  • Choosing groomsmen may be challenging, especially when there are many wonderful friends to consider.
What can I expect from my groomsmen?
  • The selection process involves considering family, mutual friends, current friends, and responsible friends.
Who Should You Have as Groomsmen?
  • Reliability and personality should be factors in choosing groomsmen for wedding planning.
  • The group dynamic matters, and it’s important to consider how well the wedding party will get along.
  • The wedding party is not the sole role at the wedding; various key positions need to be filled.
  • Budget considerations are crucial when selecting groomsmen to ensure financial feasibility.
Can my sister be the “groomsman”?
  • Sisters can be included as groomsmen, breaking traditional norms.
  • Various creative ways exist to ask friends to be groomsmen, from personal interactions to giving presents.
How do I thank my groomsmen after the wedding?
  • Expressing gratitude to groomsmen after the wedding is essential and can be done creatively.
  • Choosing groomsmen involves selecting trustworthy friends who will provide social support.
  • Backup plans are recommended to handle unexpected problems related to groomsmen.
  • The groom’s crew can include friends, relatives, brothers, cousins, and even long-lost friends.
  • Consideration of who to invite to join the wedding day team is crucial for a memorable event.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I choose my groomsmen?

Consider family, close friends, and those who have played a significant role in your life. Prioritize reliability, responsibility, and compatibility.

Can my sister be a part of the groomsmen?

Absolutely. There are no strict rules; sisters can be included in the groomsmen, breaking traditional norms.

What responsibilities do groomsmen have?

Groomsmen assist with wedding planning, host bachelor parties, usher guests, participate in the ceremony, and contribute to the celebration.

How should I ask my friends to be groomsmen?

You can ask personally or through creative gestures. Giving personalized gifts with a thoughtful touch is a popular and meaningful way.

Should I thank my groomsmen after the wedding?

Yes, it’s essential. Express gratitude for their support and participation, either creatively or with a heartfelt thank-you, acknowledging their role in making your day special.

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